Chasing Butterflies
Updated: Sep 22
Don't chase butterflies; they will always run from you, and you'll be tired.
Instead, build a beautiful garden with flowers. You'll still be tired, but the butterflies will come. And if the butterflies never come, at least you'll have a beautiful garden. That's my version of something I've heard and made my own over time.
In life, many things are worth working hard for and being tired. It's up to us to decide what gets that energy and effort. Time itself is a constant, and it's always ticking. Facing mortality and embracing today isn't always easy. Sometimes it makes everything feel rushed. Some days just feel too short.
Self-development can happen slower than a clock can show; the seasons shift without a date telling them to. Nature never rushes, yet it always seems to be on time.
If we constantly chase butterflies but never build a life that can contain them, we're trying to grab smoke and hope it shapes like clay. What are you trying to attract? So many beautiful things exist, both great and small.
It's up to us to define what those things are. Maybe your butterfly is true love, a marriage, or raising children who grow into people you respect. Maybe it's a strong body, financial security, or a small patch of petunias. Each requires something different from us. A strong body isn't cultivated by always choosing comfort. Financial security doesn't build itself without discipline.
Relationships need more than the desire to have them.
Are we putting our effort into building a life that supports the things we say we want?
Or are we spending our days chasing them?
What does your garden need?
We may not like Zinnias in our garden, but butterflies love them. Sometimes, if the goal is butterflies, their needs must take the helm, but we still choose what belongs in the garden. Are we willing to cultivate for butterflies even when it isn't what we'd naturally choose?
And there's another side to that question: If we build an entire garden around attracting butterflies, but it's not filled with our own desires, have we really built a beautiful garden?
Although, if we get hell-bent on planting marigolds everywhere, we might end up with flies and spider mites, not butterflies. No matter what you plant, ask why. Is it for the butterflies? Is it beautiful to you? Or is it what outside influences say: plant this, so we can be like them?
If you're planting flowers for people who will never stand in your garden, will the pathways still be where you want to stand? What are you cultivating? A constant desire for beautiful butterflies won't produce them. Saying you want them and making them your obsession won't make them show up. Even a beautiful garden cannot make a butterfly stay.
We choose what we cultivate. We can make room for the things we hope will come and provide a place where they might want to stay. And if they never come—or if some eventually fly away—we still have the garden we've spent our own time building. Is that worth considering before spending another day chasing something we hope to catch?
What would that look like ?
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